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| SUNDAY - SUNDAY, BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY
Today was great! One thing that I would say all Worship Leaders miss is just being part of the team. There's a lot of pressure that comes with leading a team and the congregation and although we love what we do, there's a sense of peace that comes with just worshiping as part of the team. And thanks to Eric's volunteering to lead praise today, I got to just play my electric with destiny (my stompbox) and just worship. It was GREAT! I had a lot of fun just contributing to the sound and worshiping. I also had a great time giving a sermon today. I feel like I'm getting more comfortable with the mic. I tried applying all the little tips that my professors have given me. I ignored all the blank stares and concentrated on those who were really paying attention. Also, during the prayer time, I got really convicted to pray. I didn't have the prayer time planned as part of my sermon but man, I just wanted to pray.
Oh yeah, as an added bonus, Mike couldn't come today to play bass for EM worship. Well, him not coming is not the added bonus but the bonus is that right when Daniel found out that he couldn't make it I walked into the room so I received the privilege of playing bass for EM worship today. Now that was pretty fun. Before The Throne of God was a really convicting song and so was From the Inside Out. It really helps to know the background of these songs while worshiping. Anyways, I haven't xanga'd in a while and I really felt like doing it today. I wanted to remember this day. That's it folks.
God Bless and Gud9ite
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| FRIDAY - EARLY IN THE MORNING
Just a quick blog before I sleep. I've been looking at ministry a bit differently lately. I've been hearing of how our neighboring churches do their youth ministry. Not only ministry structure but worship as well. I think we all failed. I've been thinking for about a good 3 hours this week on who leads the most perfect worship and the conclusion that I came to was that nobody does worship worthy enough to glorify God for who He truly is. Also, it's wrong to say that one Church is doing it better than the next because if a Church was truly incorporating true biblical worship, that region around that Church should be crawling with believers! Looking at the Church more as a whole, I look at Fullerton and realize that we're failing.
Some of the top dawgs in Fullerton... FPC... GKC... Sa-Rang... OKC... TKC's not that far... I mean, as big Churches go, these Churches are pretty big in Fullerton. But... something's not right. Something is itchin' where nothing can satisfy God. The only one who can truly satisfy God is God Himself; which is in itself a pretty interesting theological realm to think about. Somewhere along the line of each of us as individuals, we put priority in all the wrong things. Why does the Church exist? Who is it really for? I mean, don't give yourself the basic sunday school answer but look at your Church closely and honestly answer, who is it really for? I realized that if each individual who call themselves saints don't sanctify themselves fully in the Grace of God, worship can NEVER happen. It just wouldn't be worship because worship is the overflow of our love for God. Worship is the overflow of our natural reaction to the presence of God. Worship is the natural response to daily walking with God. If missions exist because worship doesn't (John Piper), than... why do saints exist? Why do we exist?
I came up with a very basic structure for the Church. Picture this. Our life individually is represented with a cup. As that cup overflows with our love for God, it overflows into a bowl called worship. As that bowl called worship overflows, it overflows into a bigger bowl called evangelism. As that bigger bowl called evangelism overflow, it overflows into the big picture called the Glory of God. It is not enough to have just enough God where it fills our cup. If that satisfies you, you're following the right God but for the wrong reason. If your cup does overflow into worship but your worship bowl never overflows... then you have the right reason, just the wrong god... Christianity is about following the right God for the right reason (Jon Rittenhouse).
Could I be wrong in all of this? Maybe, I mean, I am a learning Pastor. But one thing is for sure ladies and gentlemen.... believers, we've got to do better than this. I"m going to try to live out that model I made. I'm not just going to try tomorrow or on Sunday but every single day. Every. Single. Day. I know that my worship on Friday Night and Sunday Morning is heavily dictated by my worship on all the other days that I am not at Church corporately worshiping God. Breathe In. Breathe Out. Time to try this.
God Bless and Gud9ite
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| MONDAY - A FEW MORE DAYS
I realized today that being a Pastor is not all theology. There's a huge part of my life that needs a serious workover that's my personality. I need to learn to be more of a people person like Pastor Steve. My language tends to be more on the aggressive side. In the end it doesn't make that much of a difference but I've witnessed clash of personalities before and I know that there are personalities out there that will clash with mine. I'm not in it to be liked but at the same time I shouldn't be the one to stir up trouble, right? And this will be harder than anything else I've tried to overcome when it comes to ministry because I feel so uncomfortable changing this area... I never thought of it as a real problem before but I now do. But I should think twice before I talk even if I do have the best intentions. I should be careful about the way I formulate my words so that it's more graceful than confronting... even when I'm confronting. I guess this is something a Pastor gradually learns. I wonder what hardship God's going to have me overcome after I overcome this one. Ain't sanctification fun?
This past Saturday I hung out with some of the CM kids for a bit. Man, they're hard to control. It was my first time hanging out with Alex and Soo's kids and they are a handful! I don't mean that in a bad way. I can't wait to see how they grow up. In the meantime, here are some pictures some of the kids took with my laptop.
         
Two movies that I've been enjoying this past week was Tae Guk Gi and Drunken Master 2. Let me just say that Tae Guk Gi is better than Saving Private Ryan. Now, I love Saving Private Ryan. But Tae Guk Gi is better. You can put my on a hitlist for saying that truth is truth. I watched the 2nd Disc of Tae Guk Gi of the Korean War and man, that fight was tough. "We were more like a group of beggars than soldiers." That's a quote from a Korean War Veteran. Drunken Master 2, I mean... come on. By far Jackie Chan's best project EVER. If you haven't seen Drunken Master 2, your standard of martial art movies not that high yet. Speaking of which, I heard the Forbidden Kingdom was pretty bad, any opinions?
I have succesfully mastered curving the ball in bowling. I changed from a 10 pounder to a 12 this past weekend and got a 158. My goal in 3 weeks is to break a 200 and then consistantly break 200 afterwards. There's something surreal about bowling next to the senior citizen groups. They're all so happy! I think it's cool that at their age they still get together as friends and have fun as if they weren't a day over 20. Good times, good times.
God Bless and Gud9ite. | | |
| SATURDAY - NEXT STEP IN LIFE
I've been informed yesterday that FPC (Fullerton Presbyterian Church) has accepted me as an Intern Pastor. I don't know what I did in life to receive such an opportunity but I'm thankful for it nonetheless. In the Korean Culture, most ministry workers start out as a JDSN and then move up or move on but I always wanted to start as an Intern. I have faults, I make mistakes and I know it. I want to be firmly grounded in the fundamentals of being a ministry worker. I know that there are a lot of temptations for me to overcome, some old and some new but I'll do my best to reflect the Great God that saved me.
I've been working on my Exodus project all day and I'm not nearly where I wanted to be when I started. This probably has a lot to do with playing around with the laptop all day with Chung and Mini Shimmy. Here's how productive today was...
                               
                       
That last one was my first attempt at photoshop. Yes, I Solo have never used photoshop before. So today's experiment with the integrated webcam taught me one very simple lesson that I've always known. I am not photogenic.
Well, back to my Exodus project. I still have a lot to do. Thank God for my praise leaders, what would I do without them.
God Bless and Gud9ite.
::EDIT::
I just wanted to add that this past Friday's Praise and Prayer Night was FFFFFUUUUNNNN! I haven't led praise like that in so long! On the real, worship for that Praise and Prayer Night started on Wednesday Night when the staff worship team got together and practiced. That time of practice was one of the most engaging times of worship for me in a long time. I'm not downplaying any other time of worship but from the get-go it was just right on the money. And Friday's Praise and Prayer Night just felt like the continuous worship that was left off on Wednesday night. I mean, my voice was dying from worshipping 2 and a half hours straight but man, was it fun... I just got finished writing my Theology of Worship and I was just very engaged.
This is what I need to learn to do though. I need to learn to put that down so that I can teach it. I mean, my plan right now is to just lead worship for one more year and reproduce myself within' the ministry so that when I stop, there would be a plethora of worship leaders in FPC. Not just individuals who can lead worship but individuals who can lead worship leaders. I'm not even able to do that yet. What I'm doing now is just scratching the surface on what should be happenning. But yeah, I had to put this down on xanga so that I could come back to this and remember it. One thing that I believe made a huge difference was the amount of prayer that went into this night. We have another one in two weeks. Man, I'm going to be praying so hard. I know that this whole thing sounds selfish but I believe that worship leaders lead the best when they're worshipping themselves and that's exactly what it was that night. I want God to look down at FPC and have the biggest smile seeing His ungrateful children attempting to lift up just shouts of adoration.
I want to know how to fully engage in worship where it becomes an overflow into evangelism all while enjoying every minute of it. My prayer is that my theology of Worship will ready me everyday to be fully utilized by my God in the time of corporate worship. From the inside out, my prayer is that my reverence and joy of being a Christian Hedonist will not only stir a heart of celebration in me but give the Supreme God the Glory that is rightfully His. Through the Biblical, Theological depht of Worship, my prayer is that my application of it in the Church will truly make most of Him. I'm far from having that kind of reverence and joy. It's time to pray... Pray... PRay... PRAy... PRAY!!!
Again, God Bless and Gud9ite.
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| MONDAY - ROLE REMODELING
Well, a lot went down since the last time I blogged. I had the privilege of speaking twice in the last 2 months at FPC. First was for the Youth which I felt all right about but then I spoke for College/Young Adult and I was pretty nervous. I felt like I was in Indonesia again giving my first sermon. I talked faster that I planned and was in a mess. I somehow made it threw but... oh well, haha. I talked with Pastor Roy afterwards and he said that the nervousness I had was a given. Hopefully all these various experiences and events can build a strong foundation for a greater purpose that God has for me.
I read something on Biola.edu this morning that shocked me. Clyde Cook, the former President of Biola University has passed away on Friday. I never met Dr. Cook personally but I heard him speak many times and have been there to just listen to his heart for the University and the greater purpose of equipping men and women in mind and character to impact the world for the Lord Jesus Christ.
Actually, a lot of things that I've been reading up on CNN.com and listening to on the FOX News at 11 has been shocking. Everything from those kids dying from a car accident on the freeway, those teenagers acting a fool and jumping that one girl over some stupid drama on myspace to the Scandal in the Mormon Church. I don't know exactly how I would respond if any of my students faces showed up on the news from a fatal car accident. I could only imagine what their parents are going through, their staff's going through, their pastor is going through, the whole church is going through. And then those teenagers I mean, where's the discipline parents! Why do such acts of idiocy exist?! Why are only the kids in jail?! Get their parents in there as well! The Mormon Church... Polygamy? Sexual Abuse? Pregnant 13 year olds?! This is beyond scandal, it's just wrong. I have tons more to say but I have some stuff to get back to.
But before that, I just to write this as a constant reminder to myself of why in the world I'm studying the Bible. Why am I studying theology? What am I doing in class everyday? Why am I trying to even pass these classes? What do the all-nighters stand for? Why am I at Biola University? Why am I attending Fullerton Presbyterian Church? Why am I serving on staff? Why am I devoting my life to follow Jesus Christ? Without questions, there are no answers. I'm doing all those things because He Saved Me. Whether I get a bad grade here and there or not live up to the expectations some have for me, I could never forget the foundational fact that He Saved Me.
God Bless and Gud9ite
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